Wild Portraits

As I stood at the top of the chute I tried to take in my surroundings without letting them go to my head. True to name, the sky was big. I have the overthinking problem, and it most often comes when it’s least helpful. Overthinking is a mortal enemy to dropping in.

Looking out across the bowl I could see the bottom. People that looked like ants were making turns and getting back in line at the quad below. I could just make out the top of the loading station. We had gotten off at the top of the Challenger Lift and unstrapped to hike up the fall line. There were cliffs and chutes to the left and to the right. I did my best to take in the awesome surroundings. The mountains are incredible and breathtaking, but I needed all my breath. Left foot. Breathe. Right foot. Breathe. When you’re doing any kind of winter activity. The key is to stay warm without sweating. Keep your heart beat low. Calm and determined focus is the way forward.

It wasn’t a long hike, we were heading to the first open gate at the Pinnacle Chutes. As we hiked up the spine, I focused on my steps and my breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Steady. The air is thin here, even before you get to the top.

We strapped in to slide across to the gate and the top of the chutes. Rocky outcroppings on either side of the only way down. There is was. My first chute.

Most of the riding I do is in the trees. In tight, close spaces I weave in and out. Back and forth. I like the rhythm. I like finding the path forward. It’s like an obstacle course. I’m comfortable in tight spaces. I rely on my control. I trust myself among the trees. Out here in the open space, I imagine myself on the last run weaving in and out of the trees. Connecting tight turns and smooth transitions. I breathe. Focusing on what I know I can do, I pick my path. The chute is narrow, but wide enough to make turns. I can do this. I know I can do this. As I stare down at the tiny ant people below, I remember that I can do this. I don’t think about not doing it. I don’t give myself the option.

For me, I’ve had to work hard on overcoming the fear of dropping in. That moment where you let go of your safety net and move forward. Because it is that moment when you let go and put everything you’ve practiced in to play. That’s the moment you have to trust yourself to move forward on your own skill and your own strength. If you don’t commit to the drop in, then what are you even doing here?